Sorting out the Red Sox, vol. 1

The last time Brad Penny posted a 15.75 ERA he rebounded, becoming a World Champion with the Marlins.  Once again, 15.75 is his ERA, this time in Spring Training for the Royals, who released him today.  Brad was a subpar starter for Detroit in 2011.  He had a 6.11 ERA as a reliever in 2012 for San Fran, the same year he flamed out with the Fukuoka Hawks after one outing.  He got engaged to (another) dancer and got married in 2013, a year in which he did not pitch professionally.  He will be 36 in May and hasn’t delivered good value on a contract since 2010.   It might be time for the fun loving wide load to sit ringside at UFC bouts full time.  He made $50,000,000 in 13 MLB campaigns.  He can afford to retire.

For Sox fans, Brad was to 2009 what Paul Byrd was to 2008 and what John Burkett was to 2003.  He was a gift in the 5 hole. 

Farewell and bon voyage, big man.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia will make $21 million over the next 3 seasons.  He must be feeling giddy.  He donned Jose Fernandez’s purple pants and uniform jersey for team warm ups, just for laughs. 21 million is $13 million more than he made in total during his first 5 years in MLB.  Yes, winning a Championship was berry, berry good for Salty. 

Expect him to go .246, 18 & 60 while catching 120 games per season for the Marlins.  Hopefully, he will improve at stopping pitches that are truly wild, and pitches that are just a little bit wild.  His lack of range behind the plate is what put him on the bench and David Ross in the starting role for the post season. 

Best of luck, Salty.  You deserve the paycheck.  We’ll catch you on the highlight reels.

Leah Hextall.  Sarah Davis.  Can’t NESN get some intelligent, great looking female on air talent that was born before 1980?

I’ll get over Jacoby Ellsbury becoming a Yankee.  But could he look a little less happy as he poses in pinstripes for the camera?  God, Jacoby.

Jake Peavy cut his finger and can’t catch the ball.  Buchholz needs to prove he can stay healthy and start more than 15 games.  Jon Lester is auditioning for a 6 year, $100 million dollar contract elsewhere.  Ryan Dempster is with his family, as he should be.  Felix isn’t fat and Lackey is our best returning starter.  I’m glad the rotation is all set.  (Not.)

Bryce Brentz, the 26 year old outfielder, has 3 HR’s in 7 games this March.  He leads the Sox in hits, runs, rbi and slugging.  But when it comes to being the next Daniel Nava (spare outfielder), Mr. Brentz doesn’t stand a chance.  Not against the born again Grady Sizemore, a.k.a. the human lottery ticket.  Nick Carfado gave Sizemore passing grades on all the early tests and the Sox are drooling.  4 years ago Sizemore could drive in 90 runs, steal 25 bases and score 100 times a season.  He garnered MVP votes in 4 seasons and owns one Gold Glove.   Brentz is competing against what Sizemore used to be.  And the delicious possibility that he can become great again.

Go Sox.