Jose Canseco es muy macho in the boxing ring. How about Sarah Palin ?
Posted by athomeatfenway on December 24, 2009
Readers have been asking for photos of Jose Canseco from his recent appearances in New England.
I’ll share two here.
I snapped one of Jose on Sat., Nov. 9 at the Greater Boston Sports Collectors Convention, in Wilmington, MA., where he was signing autographs for $20 a pop.
Canseco was late to the gig. He was cordial and business-like as he signed from behind a pair of sunglasses that I imagined hid the lines that could tell a tale of debauchery and orgy from the night before.
The man has a reputation to live up to.
He was actually 90 miles West of Boston in Springfield, Massachusetts, in a boxing ring the prior evening. He won a decision over Pittsfield, MA. Native, Todd Poulton. On the same card, believe it or not, civil rights icon Rodney King won a TKO over former hoopster Derek MacIntosh.
All of this was conducted under the auspices of something called the Celebrity Boxing Federation.
I’m not making this up.
You may already know that Jose boxed former child actor Danny Bonaduce to a draw in January. A lovely body tattoo shirt was donned by Jose for that donnybrook.
You may also already have heard that Jose was knocked silly in the first round by former Philadelphia Eagle kick return specialist Vai Sikahema in July.
His reported appearance fee of $35,000 helped salve the wounds of the beating by Sikahema, who is 7 inches shorter and 40 pounds lighter than the former Bash Brother.
Now comes the news that the CBF has offered Kate Gosselin (Jon & Kate +8) a payday to rumble with one of Tiger Woods ex-paramours. The CBF hopes to fill the card with Jon Gosselin’s 22-year-old ex-girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, pugilistically matched with another one of Tiger’s former flames.
It’s such an ugly concept you can’t turn away. Learn more at celebrityboxing.tv, if you dare.
Jose is not the first athlete to use his fame to make a buck in a manner lacking dignity. Babe Ruth was employed as a wrestling referee in the 1940’s. Pete Rose sang to us that “a Man wants to smell like a man” while flogging Aqua Velva. Joe Louis, Mickey Mantle & Willie Mays all worked as greeters in Vegas casinos.
He is not the first. He won’t be the last.
As for the CBF, we can expect to see any imaginable combination of famed combatants.
Here are a few I would like to see:
Battle of the Major League Bellies: George Wendt vs. Wilbur Wood.
Management vs. Labor: Outcast Marvin Miller vs. HOF President Jeff Idleson. Or Idelson’s Grandfather, whichever Idelson is 90.
The Guilty vs. Sons of the Righteous: Pete Rose vs. Steve, Bruce & Martin Feller. May their justice be swift.
Height vs. the Mighty Might: 6 ‘ 10” Randy Johnson vs Pocket Hercules, who is 4′ 6″ & lifts 700 lbs.
The Freak & The Narc: Tim Lincecum vs Acting D.E.A head, Michele Leonhart. Another bust would do her career wonders.
Party Crashers & Bashers: Tareq & Michaele Salahi tussle with Prince & Chanel Fielder. The name of that book was “Skinny Bitch”, yes ?
Battle of the Hounds: Tiger Woods & David Letterman on ‘roids in the ring in a race to text their gal pals.
Lastly, Sarah Palin going rogue against the liberal lefty, Bill “Spaceman” Lee. I can see Lee extending the post match peace pipe now.
In America, anything can happen. Sometimes it makes you shake your head; sometimes you just laugh out loud.