THE ESSENTIAL BRAD PENNY FOR RED SOX FANS
Posted by athomeatfenway on January 6, 2009
11 Keys to understanding Brad
Brad is the new Booty King. Brad is 6 ft 4 inches tall and 260 pounds. Same height as Ortiz — and 30 pounds heavier.
Welcome to New England. Brad Penny is from Blackwell, OK., where Katharine Hepburn was stopped for speeding in 1950. Hepburn told the cop that he was a moron, and that if she ever came across a car with Oklahoma plates in Connecticut she would let the air out of its tires.
Penny clichés will be everywhere. Penny Wise and Pounded Foolish. Posada Pinches Penny. A Pretty Penny. A Bad Penny. A Penny Saved, a Penny Spurned. Bad Penny Comes Back. In for a Penny, In for a Pounding.
Brad Penny is single: Brad has dated Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku. He is going to like Boston. The Irish landed there, you know.
Brad has no kids: “One guy (from the 2003 Florida Marlins) gets up and votes a (playoff) share for the baby-sitter. They already get paid to baby-sit. And I don’t have any kids. No way, no chance, no share. That got shot down real quick.” – Brad Penny in The Miami Herald (February 28, 2004)
Brad can surprise you: He struck out 4 batters in one inning (dropped 3rd strike). He also gave up a Homer, a double and 3 runs in the same inning.
Everybody thinks Beckett was the Big Fish: Actually, Brad beat the Yankees TWICE in the 2003 World Series, winning Games 1 & 5. Jack McKeon had a feeling about Brad. When Aaron Boone delivered the Yankees to the Classic, McKeon started Penny instead of Dontrelle Willis.
He really does throw hard. Brad hit Umpire Kerwin Danley with a 96 mph heater when he missed Russell Martin’s call for a curve. Danley was knocked out for 18 minutes. He likened the impact to a left hook that he could see coming but could not dodge. A week later, Danley lay in his Arizona home trying to stop the headache.
His Draft Day could have been worse. Brad was picked 155th by the D-Backs in the 1996 Draft. That was well after Kris Benson, Travis Lee, and Eric Chavez. But ahead of Jeremy Giambi (#169), Shea Hillenbrand (#301), Ted Lilly (#688), and well ahead of Roy Oswalt (#684), and the very patient Aron Amundson (#1,739).
Brad is colorful. He’s been interviewed ringside making predictions at Ultimate Fighting Championships and has great respect for Kimbo. There is also a lovely You Tube video of Brad in a Hollywood donnybrook in which you hear a concerned partier asking, “Are you going to taze me ?”.
Brad at the #5 is a gift. This is the real key. Brad is a great upgrade. I mean I liked Paul Byrd. He was to 2008 what John Burkett was to 2003. But Brad will be a blistering fifth starter following Beckett, Lester, Matsuzaka and Wakefield. Are you kidding me ? Let Masterson be the bridge to Oki and/or Pap. Let Buchholz find his Wa in peace. I’m glad this Penny turned up.