At home at fenway

Keeping on eye on Dustin, Papi, Youk & a few good books

THE ESSENTIAL BRAD PENNY FOR RED SOX FANS

Posted by athomeatfenway on January 6, 2009

11 Keys to understanding Brad

No doubt, this guy is a double-wide.

No doubt, this guy is a double-wide.

Brad is the new Booty King. Brad is 6 ft 4 inches tall and 260 pounds.  Same height as Ortiz — and 30 pounds heavier.

 

Welcome to New England. Brad Penny is from Blackwell, OK., where Katharine Hepburn was stopped for speeding in 1950.  Hepburn told the cop that he was a moron, and that if she ever came across a car with Oklahoma plates in Connecticut she would let the air out of its tires.

Penny clichés will be everywhere. Penny Wise and Pounded Foolish.  Posada Pinches Penny.  A Pretty Penny.  A Bad Penny.  A Penny Saved, a Penny Spurned.  Bad Penny Comes Back.  In for a Penny, In for a Pounding.

Brad Penny is single: Brad has dated Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku.  He is going to like Boston.  The Irish landed there, you know.

Brad has no kids: “One guy (from the 2003 Florida Marlins) gets up and votes a (playoff) share for the baby-sitter. They already get paid to baby-sit. And I don’t have any kids. No way, no chance, no share. That got shot down real quick.” – Brad Penny in The Miami Herald (February 28, 2004)

Brad can surprise you: He struck out 4 batters in one inning (dropped 3rd strike).  He also gave up a Homer, a double and 3 runs in the same inning.

Everybody thinks Beckett was the Big Fish:  Actually, Brad beat the Yankees TWICE in the 2003 World Series, winning Games 1 & 5.  Jack McKeon had a feeling about Brad.  When Aaron Boone delivered the Yankees to the Classic, McKeon started Penny instead of Dontrelle Willis.

He really does throw hard. Brad hit Umpire Kerwin Danley with a 96 mph heater when he missed Russell Martin’s call for a curve.  Danley was knocked out for 18 minutes. He likened the impact to a left hook that he could see coming but could not dodge.  A week later, Danley lay in his Arizona home trying to stop the headache.

His Draft Day could have been worse. Brad was picked 155th by the D-Backs in the 1996 Draft.  That was well after Kris Benson, Travis Lee, and Eric Chavez.  But ahead of Jeremy Giambi (#169), Shea Hillenbrand (#301), Ted Lilly (#688), and well ahead of Roy Oswalt  (#684), and the very patient Aron Amundson (#1,739).

Brad is colorful. He’s been interviewed ringside making predictions at Ultimate Fighting Championships and has great respect for Kimbo.  There is also a lovely You Tube video of Brad in a Hollywood donnybrook in which you hear a concerned partier asking, “Are you going to taze me ?”.

Brad at the #5 is a gift.  This is the real key.  Brad is a great upgrade.  I mean I liked Paul Byrd.  He was to 2008 what John Burkett was to 2003.  But Brad will be a blistering  fifth starter following Beckett, Lester, Matsuzaka and Wakefield.  Are you kidding me ?  Let Masterson be the bridge to Oki and/or Pap.  Let Buchholz find his Wa in peace.  I’m glad this Penny turned up.

Brad and his pal, Eliza.

Brad and his pal, Eliza.

 

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One Response to “THE ESSENTIAL BRAD PENNY FOR RED SOX FANS”

  1. […] Brad Penny is from Blackwell, OK., where Katharine Hepburn was stopped for speeding in 1950. Hepburn told the cop that he was a moron, and that if she ever came across a car with Oklahoma plates in Connecticut she would let the air out …[Continue Reading] […]

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